No more single in LA
Los Angeles is quite an interesting place, isn’t it? The moment you land here, the feels are of being in a different world, a never seen before zone. People here are crazily cool! They’re open to all kinds of new things. What makes me say that? Well, I almost choked on the first god damn sip of Forty Quinn’s MOON JUICE (do not put yourself through that torture, all you gonna see is green after that) and then, I got a taste of LA’s dating life (a horrible nightmare).
I thought I had an up game when it came to dating but then I saw my confidence go to dumpsters when I tried dating in LA. Okay, with this remark you might consider me too pessimistic for a date but trust me, I ain’t lying. They say, put yourself out there to land somewhere and I totally did that. I tried all those Hollywood tricks, pick up lines, bars, cafes, libraries and even speed dating for that matter. However, later I came to this realization that Angelenos are speed dating their entire lives. They’ve literally got dating schedules! (Keith on Friday, Jeremy and James on Saturday and Andrew on Sunday). Being that old school romantic kinds, this was too much for me. I was having a hard time, for real.
I decided to slow down a little and hence, resorted to the swiping/annoying culture of online dating apps in LA. It’s literally like online shopping. Keep swiping till you get to a profile you can swipe right to and then hope he swiped right as well. Congratulations if he did because now you gotta text for long to see if you guys can get somewhere. This was hectic! Hectic than a regular corporate 9-5. Even after so much effort, all I had was disappointment in my hands. Where I was craving that anxiety of ‘the first time you go on a date with your kind of hottie’ all I was getting was a text message saying ‘up for a hook-up later tonight?’.
Eventually, I started to give up. My weekends had changed from dressing up and playing the game to lousing on the couch, binge-watching friends and shouting on my Roomie and her bf to get a room for themselves. I thought I’ll end up depressed and would soon go back to the ‘normal life’ I had in New Jersey. By this time, I was on my feet praying for a miracle, something that brought the basics back to the present. That’s when No Names happened. While scrolling through my Facebook feed (see the level of boredom? I was using Facebook), I came across their ad. So, I thought let’s give this a shot too, what have I got to lose anyway?
Turns out, NO NAMES IS DOPE!!! Like out of the world, alien dope. It is so easy to get a date with this app. Just post a date and wait for requests to flow in or send in a request to a date posted by someone else. Then have a follow-up text and voila! You’re done. No more swiping, no more endless texting and no more disappointment. Oh! I totally forgot, NO NAMES as well. You read that one right, you cannot have your names on the posted date, I mean of course, it can be revealed but that’s your choice. So, no more background checks happening either. It’s just like the good old days when people bumped into each other. The only difference is that this time the bump is planned. It’s because of no names that my singledom came to an end and I’m finally ‘No more single in LA’.